Julian, George, Dick, Anne & Timmy …… The original Famous Five in Enid Blyton’s kids books from the 1940’s & 50’s. What a bunch of little adventurers they were…..Just looking at some of the book titles gives you an idea of what fun the ‘little rascals’ got up to. For example, Five Run Away Together …. Wonderful, I wonder what happens there, and to be honest, probably not the best book for any stroppy, mardy arsed 12 year old to read nowadays as just reading the title might give them ideas ! Other titles such as Five Go Off In A Caravan (I prefer Tents !) … Five Go Off To Camp (oooohhhh, that’s more like it … My Tent or Yours ???) ….. Five get Into Trouble (Really ?? What were they doing ?? Mugging Old Ladies ? Importing Pure Colombian Marching Powder ? Hacking Pentagon Computers ?) …. Five Go To Smugglers Top (That proves it was Drug Smuggling !) …. Five Have A Wonderful Time (oh please …. Use some f*cking imagination Enid !!!!) …. And the list goes on and on and on.
Well Enid, I’ve got news for you (If you’re reading this literary masterpiece from the retirement home in the sky !) …. Come next week there’s another Famous Five who are coming to take the place of Julian, George, Dick, Anne & Timmy. Move over kids ‘cos Tenty, Fruity, Binny, Empy (struggling now !) & Getty (really struggling now !) are the NEW FAMOUS FIVE !
In a seven days time it’ll be D-Day …. Four of the new famous five would have already run in the MILLION POUND PUNT and it’ll all be resting on the broad shoulders of Get Me Out Of Here to bring home the bacon (100% Pork – No Horse Meat Included … that’s reference No.2 since the blog started !). IF and it’s a very, very, very BIG IF, the first four mighty animals have won, then I will be up nice and early, hand feeding Get Me Out Of Here the finest smoked salmon for breakfast, then I will take him for a little leg stretch, then I’ll tuck him up for a little snooze, then it’ll be time for a ‘horsey massage’ just to make sure the muscles are all toned and ready for the battle ahead, I’ll personally hire a posse of SAS trained bodyguards to protect the beautiful equine specimen from the stables to the parade ring (applications will be invited anytime after 5.20pm on Wednesday if the first four have won), I will walk him to the start whilst constantly telling ‘Getty’ how wonderful he is and that he is just about to become a hero all over the world…and then it’s all up to the wonder horse to do the rest. 3 Miles, cantering around, jumping the hurdles with fluent ease, to win the World Hurdle on the bridle. Ok, I realise, I’m now showing signs that I’ve become just a tad deluded, however you’ve got to believe….haven’t you ?
So, on to the latest ‘Bill Giles’ Weather Report ….. Yesterday it rained a bit, today it’s going to rain more, tomorrow it’ll rain a bit more, Saturday & Sunday will see more rain … and Monday, well on Monday we turn into the f*cking Arctic !!! Are you having a laugh, the temperature on Monday night is forecast to drop down to -5….MINUS FIVE….It’s the middle of March, I refuse to do temperatures of -5 at The Festival, it’s horse racing, not bloody penguin plodding ! So I suggest to the man upstairs that he has a little re-think thank you very much, Try sticking another 20 degrees on top please as sunny and 15 degrees will do nicely, but not -5. I seriously hope this is an incorrect forecast of ‘Bill Giles Hurricane’ proportion as this is not good, although I guess it does mean that the celebratory champagne will be cold without needing a chiller. I’m keeping my eyes firmly fixed on all the weather websites …. But it’s not looking too peachy at the moment !
What are the current betting markets telling me about the Famous Five then …. Well below are the latest odds for each of them –
My Tent Or Yours – 7/4 is best price with Paddy Power but it’s generally 13/8 or 6/4
Fruity O’Rooney – 14/1 with William Hills is the best you’ll get but mostly 12/1 with everyone else
Binocular – 11/1 with Stan James but 10/1 with most of the other bookie chaps
Empiracle – 8/1 generally
Get Me Out of Here – 10/1 with most firms
There has been plenty of support for all five over the last few days …. It’s obviously the weight of money from everyone who’s been reading this blog and ‘lumping on’ ….. I reckon we’ve got the bookies running scared !!!
As I’ve said, I’m keeping a very close eye on the weather…This is crucial to any other investments I might have, and if the forecast is right then I’ll just have to make sure the ‘Real Famous Five’ have their hats, gloves and scarves with them next week. Come next Thursday, around 3.30pm, we could well be writing a new book in the Famous Five Serious …… Five Win A Million In The Cotswolds …. I’d buy it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Again, many thanks for reading …. Keep coming back for the daily updates and share it, spread the word, comment and all the other crap you’re supposed to do with these things.
Twitter – @grahameletts