I’m A Celebrity ……………………………… The Fifth & Final Selection



How the f*ck have Ant & Dec done it ….. Honestly, I’ll give them respect for being average ‘cheeky chappy’ child actors in Byker Grove in the early 90’s, but really, why do I still have to endure them on my TV screen some 20 or so years later. They couldn’t sing….but idiots bought their records, they were mildly amusing for a couple of years when they first appeared on our screens in ‘grown up shows’ , but now, well now they just do my head in. I might be in the minority with my views about Short Arse & Slap Head (or is it Slap Head & Short Arse ?), however I have to say that their TV programmes are sh*t too. Red or Black, Saturday Night Takeaway, Britains (not) Got Talent are all proper bobbins …. TV for the en-educated (I apologise for the insult if you like any of these…it’s all for literary effect, honest – although they are crap !). Now there is one more programme that they delightfully appear on screens in and despite the fact that I should add this to the list of TV dross, I’m not going to. Why I hear you ask ….. Well because without this programme the fifth and final selection in my MILLION POUND PUNT might have been named differently …… The programme is I’m A Celebrity ……. The name of the horse that could (will ? ) bring home the big money …. Get Me Out Of Here !

Get me Out Of Here can politely be described as a bit of a monkey….and that’s putting it mildly. However the one thing is that you can almost guarantee that whichever race it runs in at the festival, it will be fit and trying it’s ass off to win. Now there is lots of history about this horse, and it has to mentioned that as it is also owned by the previously mentioned JP McManus (My Tent or Yours & Binocular), who as I’ve also mentioned likes as bit of a punt himself – that could be the ‘understatement of the year’….he loves a massive punt and loves to have his horses ‘plotted up’ to win a race when the moneys down, and there is no better place to do that than at the Cheltenham Festival.

Let’s look at Get Me Out Of Here’s record at the Cheltenham Festival….2010 was his first appearance and after winning his previous race at Newbury (incidentally the same race as My Tent or Yours won this year) he ran in the Supreme Novices Hurdle (incidentally the same race as My Tent or Yours will run in at this years festival). He was up against a short priced favorite that the whole of Ireland were backing to win the race, called Dunguib. For those punters from the Emerald Isle who’d backed the favorite, they were a little unlucky as his jockey decided to take the long route round and rode him via the Welsh Borders which in effect meant he ran about 50 miles further than any other horse in the race (yes, ok, slightly exaggerated but you get the picture). Coming to the last hurdle, Get Me Out Of Here was in second and rapidly closing on the leader, a horse called Menorah. They jumped the last and Get Me Out Of Here was closing up the Cheltenham hill under the drive of the 150 Million Time Champion jockey, AP McCoy. The winning line came just in time for Menorah who ran up the hill wandering like he’d been on the Guinness all day, he was knackered but just held on to beat Get Me Out Of Here by a mouse’s ear…Well actually it was a head, but it was a pretty small margin. I didn’t mind this too much as I’d backed Menorah so to start the day with a 12/1 winner was very nice thank you.

2011 saw a very out of from horse turn up in County Hurdle, which is one of the lesser prestigious but nonetheless still quality hurdle races at the festival. The owner obviously had his euros out as Get Me Out Of Here was backed almost like defeat was out of question. It takes a few quid at the festival to move the odds of a horse at Cheltenham in March, there’s plenty of money flying around the betting ring so the fact that Get Me Out Of Here opened up at 12/1 and ended up at 7/1 meant that he was definitely fancied to run very well. The result …… 2nd, again, beaten by, well beaten by a bloody mouses ear again…this time it was a smaller mouse as it was the minimum possible distance a horse can lose by…a nose…maybe a mouses nose !

Now, many people were none too happy about Get Me Out Of Here’s apparent improvement from being a bit of a ‘plodder’ all season to then almost winning a decent competitive race at the Cheltenham Festival. Me, I didn’t mind too much, as although as a punter you’d like to think your horses are always fit, well and running to the best of their ability, you also have to remember that Cheltenham is the pinnacle of National Hunt horse racing, and everyone wants a winner at Cheltenham, if you can pull off a bit of a betting coup on the way as well, then fair play.

2012 brought a third straight appearance at the festival for Get Me Out Of Here, this time in the Coral Cup which is another slightly less than top class hurdle race at the Cheltenham Festival. This is a big clue though to why the horse is one of my selections. The Coral Cup is over 2 Miles 5 and a bit furlongs (8 furlongs in a mile…or 1 furlong = 201.168 Metres, for those that don’t know !). His previous two races had been over ½ a mile (4 furlongs) less. Come the day of the race, the horse again attracted a few quid, being sent of at 6/1 having been around 10/1 in the morning. So, where did Get Me Out Of Here finish ….. Do I have to tell you ? …. Really ????  Yep, you guessed it, Get Me Out Of Here finished 2nd, however there were no mouses ears or noses involved this time…more like an elephants trunk. The winner Son of Flicka won by 3 ½ lengths and was ‘The’ gamble of Cheltenham 2012. He was available to back at 66/1 in the morning and eventually returned at 16/1, unfortunately only those ‘In The Know’ connected to the stable were on, however as before, fair play to them….a proper gamble landed (lucky b*stards !)

Now, on to 2013…and this is where it gets a little difficult. I’m sure this horse will stay further than 2 miles 5 furlongs, but only if the ground isn’t like a bog. The key to this horse is he hates the mud, he can’t stand sh*tty horrible crappy ground, he likes a nice good surface to run on. So, over the next week or so I will be on the phone to the man upstairs asking him to kindly refrain from turning the taps on so the ground in the Cotswalds drys out a little bit. At the moment, the ground would be just about spot on so as far as I’m concerned, the rain can f*ck right off and stay away !

Get Me Out Of Here is entered in two races…the first is the Coral Cup (same as last year), the second is the World Hurdle, which is one of the Four Championship Races at the Cheltenham Festival. The World Hurdle is a race for the best of the best staying hurdlers. The World Hurdle is run over 3 Miles …. And I am convinced that Get Me Out Of Here WILL easily stay 3 Miles if he’s ridden in the right way, and if the ground is not like a bog. So, before I even get to the end of my MILLLION POUND PUNT, I’ve got to hope and pray that firstly it doesn’t rain and secondly that the horse actually runs in the race I want it too.  The World Hurdle has been won for the last 4 years by Big Bucks, however this year Big Bucks is not there due to injury…now I’m not wishing any horse to get injured, however one horses misfortune is another horses Million Pound Winner ! The race is pretty open this year, there are some very good horses running but Get Me Out Of Here looks to me to be one that has just gone under the radar of most people when they look at this race. His last two runs have been not great, in fact scrap that, his last two runs have been without doubt absolutely dog sh*t awful, but both races were run on a bog, and as I’ve said, Get Me Out Of Here doesn’t like running on a bog. With the champ AP McCoy on board, he’ll have the best pilot to take him to victory, with no rain over the next week or so, he’ll have the best ground to help him to victory and IF he runs in the World Hurdle he’ll be running over a distance that in my mind is just about spot on for him.

So there you go, horse number five of five in my MILLION POUND PUNT is Get Me Out Of Here ….. His price ? …. When I included him in my bets I got 20/1 & 16/1 and looking at the betting now, you can get 16/1 with one bookie, 14/1 with most of the others, so he’s still decent price. If he gets confirmed as a definite runner I can see him being much shorter come the day. Fingers crossed he goes for the right race, fingers crossed he gets the ground he wants ….but more than anything, fingers crossed that this year there are no mouses noses, mouses ears or elephant trunks for Get Me Out Of Here to overcome.

If he wins …… I will personally thank Ant & Dec by sending them the finest selection of Kangaroo Penis, Ostrich B*llocks, Crocodile Anus and all the other sh*t they make those Z list celebs get stuck into in the jungle.

So that’s it five horse to win my million …. If you’re following me and backing these five too, please remember these are NOT TIPS, so if they all lose, it’s not my fault, if they all win, It is my fault !

Thanks for reading and make sure you follow over the next few day for some updates and then during the festival also (t’internet connection pending !) ….. and don’t forget to comment,  share and spread the word of my blog if you like it.

For today ….. I’m Hoping To Be A Millionaire …. GET ME OUT OF HERE !




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