Now the only place you’d usually hear the words ‘Fruity’ and ‘Rooney’ in the same sentence would be in a seedy backstreet specialist ‘emporium’ run by grannies for footballers who resemble Shrek….according to the tabloids anyway !
This however is not the case when it comes to those two words in the current world of National Hunt Racing as the little equine superstar that is the second selection in my MILLION POUND PUNT is called Fruity O’Rooney.
You might recall my tale of woe from last years festival, when a solitary winner was all I managed from the first three days. Well if it hadn’t been for the misfortune of a slipping saddle on the horse that finished second in the race that Alfie Sherrin won, then the total of winners from the first three days would have been none, nothing, nowt, not a penny back. I would have been playing the harmonica on Cheltenham High Street with the other destitute punters, I might even have had to resort to selling lucky heather with the ‘lovely’ gypsy folk just so I could earn a few pounds to last the full four days of punting. The horse I needed to thank for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory was of course Fruity O’Rooney. Believe me, this horse was seriously unlucky to lose, and it was simply because of a ‘costume malfunction’ that the gutsy little beast failed to win.
So what else can I tell you about Fruity ??? Well, he’s ten years old – which if you do that stupid human to horse age conversion thing makes him about 35. I know at 35 various parts of my body were probably reaching the early stages of decline, so if I equate that back to Fruity O’Rooney, it’s probably now or never to land a decent race at the Festival. Fruity was born on March 26th, which means he shares a birthday with Diana Ross and Steven Tyler (Rubber faced singer from Aerosmith / Father of Liv). Fruity O’Rooney is a ‘Bay Gelding’ – which means his hair is a reddish brown colour (Gingerish…like his footballing namesake, Wayne Fruity !) with no b*llocks. I’m sure all the above are enough to tempt most people to back Fruity without reading any more !
Fruity is trained by a real shrewd trainer called Gary Moore (not the Irish guitarist /singer who played with Thin Lizzy – he’s dead !). Gary Moore, the racehorse trainer, used to be a jockey, he has three son’s who are all jockeys, good jockeys at that, and best of all he knows one end of a horse from another. He’s well known within racing circles for getting a horse ready to win, and when the moneys down on his horses, they usually do win. Fruity O’Rooney has run five times since his unlucky second at last years festival…His form figures in those five races are 5th, 20th, 7th, 3rd & 2nd ….and what makes me desperate to include Fruity in my bet to win a million is the fact that in his last two races he’s proved that, despite the fact that he’s had his vital statistics removed, he’s got balls…and proper big balls at that. In fact I reckon when they removed Fruity’s real balls they probably sold them to Jordan’s surgeon to increase her puppy size to a Triple G !
Come Cheltenham, it is likely that the ground will be perfect for Fruity, he’s running in the same race he did last year, he will be carrying a reasonable weight, his trainer is in decent enough form….apart from a big pair of b*llocks, what else does Fruity need ? Well maybe this year, a saddle that’s glued on might help !!!
So what price is Fruity O’Rooney….Well, in my bets I’ve got 20/1 & 16/1…..and when I checked a couple of minutes ago, he’s still available to back at 20/1, although most bookies are either 16/1 or 14/1. Fruity runs in the third race on the Tuesday at Cheltenham which is the JLT Speciality Handicap Chase over 3miles ½ furlong ….and IF Fruity happens to win the third race on the Tuesday at Cheltenham (and IF My Tent or Yours has won the first race at Cheltenham on the Tuesday) I will be 2/5 of the way to completing my MILLION POUND PUNT – and will probably be very close to p*ssing myself with excitement (yes, with excitement, not due to too many pints of Guinness).
So, that’s the first two sorted out …… Thanks for reading and come back to find out what horse number three is in the quest to pull off my MILLION POUND PUNT.
Just to remind everybody, these horses’s aren’t tips, I hate giving out tips, in fact I’m probably the worst tipster in the world. These are horses I’ve backed to win my million, but they’re not tips….so if you all decide to back them, and they all lose ….It’s the horses fault, not mine !!!!